This one was kind of touch and go for me. I liked it, then I didn't like it, still didn't like it, then
decided I liked it in the end. I seem to be somewhat unintentionally working the animal theme.
I didn't set out to focus on this as subject matter- it just seems to be happening on it's own
accord which is cool. But I do love the animal kingdom. And sometimes I love the animal
kingdom more so than the human race. But no, I'm not a people hater and yes, I love people
as well despite all our flaws and the puzzling ways in which we act. And I realize this has
nothing to do with sea turtles but I'm in a pensive kind of mood this week. I guess that
happens sometimes. Ups and downs, highs and lows, the neverending flow of our existence.
We can't be up all the time, and hopefully we're not going the other direction all the time
either. I think about this quite often, how our very nature is to think about and over-think
things constantly. Would it be better to just be floating blissfully around like this sea turtle,
with just it's own instinctual rhythm to guide it? We've gotten so complicated as humans-
we're complication within complication within complication and still more complication down
to the smallest specks of minutiae. As I'm writing this, I'm reminded of a poem that a friend
of mine gave me in high school called something like: "I want my beast self back". I tried to
google it so I could read it again since it's been like 23 years since the last time I did, but
when I typed in different search iterations to find it all that came up was breast-related info.
Oh well. Anyway, the poem was about a desire to simplify, to get rid of complications and
details like social security numbers, driver's licenses, cars, money, careers, advertising-
anything-and everything one could possibly think about and just for a moment to let all these
things slide away that won't mean anything in the long run and just live in an instinctual way.
This isn't realistic, I know. (Don't worry mom and dad, if you're reading this- I have no
desire to quit my job, drop off the face of the planet and live like a wild animal but still it's
interesting to think about) I mean, I think we saw the hard reality of that kind of impulse
in the book "Into the Wild" by Jon Krakauer. I'd do a synopsis but I think I've already
subjected you to too-long-of-a-post- if anyone is reading this.
In any case, the gist of all this is that sometimes I think it would be easier to live a simple life,
with simple thoughts in a not-so-complex world. But truthfully, I love my life the way it is and
wouldn't change it.
Painting #3
16" x 20"
mixed media
Trees named
ReplyDeleteFlower named
continents named
bombsites memorialised
roadsigns quadrupled, thunder rerouted
lightning detoured
weather televised, music canned
dogmeat canned, uranium canned
Walt Disney frozen
Billy the Kid's body stolen
outer space wired
blackbirds poisoned
popeye painted on warheads
electrocution sanctioned
phone wires tapped, geysers tapped
volcanoes monitored
terrorism mass-marketed
crime popularised, burglary syndicated
lies memorised, death squads okayed
rainforests mapped and divided
fir trees under contract, inlets earmarked
cows branded, knowledged booked
books shredded, time put into ticks
ticks digitized
good will fossilized
mythology vandalized
honesty scrutinised
planet light eyed by marketing executives
chins, noses, breasts rearranged in surgery rooms
bodies mugged and gassed, straights plugged
flags pinned to the otherside of the moon
scientists, poets, nuns silenced
hearts transplanted
satellites re-paving the night sky
earthworms boxed and sold
crocodiles skinned
counsellers, therapists, mail-course astrologers
dissecting people's lives
Help!
I want my body back
I want my old beast self
I want a voice that sings and eyes high-altitude clear!
I want to live without being watched,
to smile without being choked, to bathe myself
unmonitored, to sleep without
someone ringing my number!
I want to make love without being told
how to do it how to feel how to wake
the next morning what time of day it is
who's in the World Series who's winning
the latest war who's been left in purgatory
and not gone to heaven
Stop!
Let me lose myself for once
Let me see who I am
Empty my pockets of driver’s license, spare
change, social security, draft card, secret
phone numbers, fake student ID
Visa, Mastercharge!
I want to eat without additives
I want to die without preservatives
I want to rise from the world’s debris
wipe the rusted mirror, have a feast!
I want to feel my body naked, wet with storm
stuck with pollen tanned with meteor fire
soused with cold rain!
I want to pass through the tail
of Haley’s Comet
bloom shake my mane
stretch the stiff joints, roll
in the mustard, kick
my heels silver the dry wash
with rafts of light
unbloody the ocean
unsmoked the stack
undo the noose
unframe the framed
let loose the shadows
lick the salt from the world’s tears
No flags!
No heads ruling hearts!
No dirty clothes piled in the closet
No bomb hatch open
on the horizon!
Let me flood through the gate
slide into you
embrace without could be’s or what if’s
I want it to be a hundred times
the first time!
I want it slow in the open luminous
sourceless, as books have never
told it, as vision
has witnessed it, I want it blessed
by the brightest angel
I want it in the clover in the clouds
with the furious taste of electricity
with silence left in my lungs
with my windshield steamed I want it
high on green wet wave
and the whole world with me, out in
back through the narrow vent
of birth
then to sleep to drift to wake!
beckoned by no absence
collective and unnamed, feathered
horned
soft pawed
haloed
bloodsong in the veins
bird whistle in the artery
fin in the spray of the surf
I want it
heavensknowswhere, I want
my body back
I want my old beast self!
- John Brandi
It's in a book called Semiotext[E] USA. I was looking for it online - it's there now :-)
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